Coping With Cancer Is Also Hard On Your Friends & Family

Coping with cancer is also hard on your friends & family. It is understandable for you to question why you were the one who got dealt the colon cancer card. You are probably feeling distressed, infuriated and frightened all at the same time. This is natural and you are entitled to these feelings.

The diagnosis is overwhelming, and what is more, you know it will overwhelm your friends and family too. Just admitting it to yourself is hard enough, let alone anybody else. You want to close yourself off from the whole world. Instead, it is time to face the music.

It is terribly hard to start talking, but you will find that everyone feels better when it is 'out in the open.'

When talking to your loved ones about the cancer, admit to them how you are really feeling. It is better to be honest. You will all start coping with cancer a great deal sooner and can start sorting through the factors that need addressing.

It is not always easy knowing who you want to tell the news to, and who you would rather hear from someone else in the family. You may feel mixed emotions when talking to people. On one hand, you are longing for their support, but on the other hand, you know they are also going to need some reassurance that 'everything is going to be okay.'

It may be easier coping with people once you have found out some more information. The more knowledge you have, the more calm you will be, and consequently the more calm your friends and family will feel.

They may not know what to say, and seem distant and closed off at first. This could be because they are having trouble digesting the news. But it could also be that they are scared of saying the wrong thing and upsetting you.

Of course, some people find it easier to talk than others. You are probably finding that some friends are too jolly or too cautious. The best approach to coping with cancer is creating an approachable atmosphere to discuss your colon cancer, as long as you feel comfortable in doing so. It is much healthier when you can convey your emotions. It is vital that you never disregard your need to discuss issues. Don't put up a contented exterior if you don't feel that way inside.

When it comes down to it, your friends and family really want to help you. Try and let them, whether it's:

• babysitting the children
• washing some dishes or
• driving you to the hospital

It is common to be unsure of what you want them to do:

• Explain this to them and give them the chance to use their initiative
• Encourage them to also accept any help that is offered to them

Their everyday roles and responsibilities may have changed since your diagnosis. It is important to remember that people want to feel useful during this testing time.

Most of all, your friends and family are your support system. It will make your journey through cancer less scary and less stressful by having them around. With teamwork you can get through the never-ending literature and any complicated decisions that have to be made.

However, you may not want to talk to your friends and family about the cancer at all. Make sure you still spend time with them. There are alternative methods of getting support. Counselors can help you and or your whole family communicate. Support groups can offer people going through the same ordeal that you are. Your doctor can provide reassurance when you feel overwhelmed or depressed.

We know you want to deal with colon cancer in a way that affects your loved ones as little as possible. It is hard for you to adjust to your new life as a 'patient,' and you know it is going to be challenging for them too. But they can help you get through this. Just be honest, open, and strengthen the bonds that already exist. You don't have to face this battle alone.

Additional Resources

• Cancer.gov
• Cancer.org
• Mayo Clinic

Written by Victoria Austen - 5/5/09

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