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One Woman's Colo Rectal Cancer Story *
* This is a fictional account drawn from multiple stories.
"Colo rectal Cancer...Carcinoma...CT Scan...Partial Colectomy." I heard these words as I felt myself sinking into the table at the doctor's office. My mind buzzed as I heard, but did not really comprehend these words. There was a "eureka" moment as I realized how obvious the diagnosis should have been. My stomach problems have been going on for two years. No wonder it would not go away. I had all these colon cancer signs. Oh NO! Colo rectal cancer.
Thoughts rushed through my mind as I squinted at the doctor, trying to comprehend what he was telling me. Was I going to die? How long did I have to live? How on earth am I going to tell my husband? I'm a writer of short stories, but can there ever be a good ending to a colon cancer story?
Finally, I managed to swallow hard and open my mouth to say, "Huh?" My doctor paused as he realized I had not heard anything he said. God bless him, he gently placed his hand on mine and told me, "This is not a death sentence. This is a journey. We need to know more before we can think about what the outcome will be."
Although the pat on my hand was reassuring, it was all downhill from there. As Dr. Carson explained all of the tests needed and possible treatments for my colo rectal cancer, my heart sank deeper and deeper. I fought to remain calm as he spoke, but every fiber of my body wanted instead to scream and cry. I felt angry and unfairly targeted. Why me? What did I do to deserve this?
The colonoscopy exam revealed the truth.
The colonoscopy revealed a mass in my colon. They performed a colon biopsy, which brought the terrible news to me today. From here, I will need CT scans to be sure the cancer is only in my colon. The doctor also ordered blood needed tests before I can start chemotherapy. I am too shocked to think about what will happen with those tests and the chemotherapy.
I left the doctor's office in a daze, lab orders in hand. I was so lost in myself, I forgot all about the lab. All I could think about was telling my husband. How would I tell Mark? His mother died of cancer and I was afraid he would break down. If he breaks down, I thought, I won't be able to handle it. I'll lose my mind.
I just couldn't keep it together.
I tried to maintain my composure and find a gentle way to tell him. Instead, I burst out crying and yelled, "Honey, I have.." But I could not say it. I could not say "cancer" out loud. Mark could see there was something very wrong. He saw the paper in my hand and pulled out the lab orders. Mark is familiar with the blood tests you need because of what he went through with his mom. When he saw my lab orders, his face blanched.
Mark did not panic, though. He must have been thinking about cancer in the back of his mind since I have been sick so long. He took a deep breath and just said, "Tell me it's not cancer." I fell apart in his arms and just sobbed and sobbed. I was afraid to look at him in case he was crying too. But if he did cry, he did not let it show. He didn't ask me where or what kind of cancer. Nothing. He just said, "We need to get this lab work done. Let's go." So I just followed him to the car and he drove me to the clinic.
This is going to be tough on all of us. We'll need a lot of help.
Mark is outside in the waiting room now. I can't imagine how he is handling this. I'm not handling it at all. I can't think. I can't believe I have colo rectal cancer! What will I do? Will I even survive? God, help me through this.
Additional Resources
* This is a fictional account drawn from multiple stories.
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