"Another Awakening" by a Colon Cancer Patient, Now Poet.

by Karen Rice
(Houston, Texas)

When I was diagnosed with my first cancer (Breast) about x7 years ago, I was like most. The first thing came to mind was "a death sentence". I found out later it was truly "An Awakening", especially after receiving bad news again (Colon Cancer) years later; but I'm still alive to tell about it. I first began asking God, why? Why would he do this to me? What had I done so wrong in my life to have this placed upon me, not once, but twice? But, right after asking those questions, it was as if I had recieved an answer, because I suddenly knew that I was going to be Ok.

I realized that I was about to face a new beginning, new hope, do and see more with a whole new prospective on life. When I think of the "Gift of Life" my Savior has given me, I knew that I will develop and gain strength from all my experiences. I do live with some complications from both cancer, and with all the struggles I've had to deal with all my life, I still feel truly Blessed.

For a while, I wasn't happy with the way I looked after my surgeries, around the surgery sites, nor the pain that I had to endure everyday; until one day I decided, I had to snap out of it. I have to think about all the individuals that are no longer among us and I also realized that there will always be someone worse off than I am.

I only lost some skin, who am I to complain? I had to think of the many children that are laid up in a hospital with all forms of cancer, that may never leave to a normal life. I still have my life and I'm 54 yrs of age, so I've lived many years, many of those children will not.

Yes, going through the first initial visits finding out the diagnose is pretty scary, but for some reason with my second cancer (Colon), I wasn't as scared as I was with the first one (breast). I had a colon resection and was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with chemo/radiation, but I did. My stage of colon cancer was stage III, so my MD stated that I really had no choice, esp. after having a diagnose of cancer for the second time. I didn't have to deal with chemo nor radiation with my Breast cancer, it was that early. I only had a radical mastectomy with reconstruction.

But you know, through it all, it was kind of rough, but you want to live, so you deal with it; especially when you have family that you want to spend more time with, you can't just give up.

I experienced something so wonderful, so peaceful, something of a miracle, during one of my many surguries, that most won't believe, but it truly happened. I feel as though I went over to the other side, during that peaceful moment. I turned that experience into a poem and called it "Peace". I took that poem, along with many others I had written during my Breast cancer period and created a book of poems. I was blessed enough to have it published and it's called "True Simple Poems of Life, Faith and Survival".

I'm hoping that anyone who has the opportunity to read my poems get out of them, what I placed in all of them. My poems are from the heart of a cancer survivor, as real as any could ever be.

I never anticipated becoming a writer, I just became one. I felt that evil entered my body, tried to take it over, but God interfered with that plan; he has his own time and plan for each one of us. I truly believe when you survive a horrific tragedy or a horrible disease such as cancer, it's for a reason, you have a purpose and I want to live to find out exactly what that is for me. The experiences I've had to endure are what gave me insight to form the words of my poems.

With the words and phrases of each poem of statement, I wish to make a positive impact on someone who's ill or otherwise hurting. I hope it gives them the strength to embrace thier life in a whole new way. I recently had another inspirational children's book published called "If Only I Could Fly, said Mattie-bee" and I'm working on my third. See, that's what I'm all about now, "inspiration". I would have never become a writer, producing inspirational stories, if I hadn't gone through all that I did.

I'm a true example that you can survive any cancer not once, but twice; but you must get regular checkups, where you can catch the cancer at it early stage, have faith and allow God to guide your path. This is what my experiences of cancer have made of me, "A Believer! Both cancers were truly "An Awakening" for me.